If you caught my last post you read all about how June is wedding season. But it’s also PROM season, and if you don’t think of Carrie when you think of prom then you’re clearly better adjusted than me…
I think we can all agree as a nation that high school is a horrifying experience and it all culminates with prom – a terrifying event for everyone, regardless of the amount of pig blood involved. There are many parallels between classic horror film clichés and high school – let’s explore.
Example 1: Single girls are screwed.
In horror films, the single girls are always killed first and/or hunted by the killer for the majority of the film. The same thing goes for high school. Is there anything more horrifying than slow dancing with your brother, who your mom forced to be your date, on prom night? (Asking for a friend!)
Example 2: You can run, but you can’t hide.
The next victim in a horror film always runs upstairs when she should be running out the front door. IRL high schoolers will tell you that there is no escaping a horrifying experience. Rip your shorts in gym class? Fall flat on your face in the hall? It doesn’t matter – evil school systems dictate that you still have to show up tomorrow and every day until you graduate.
Example 3: The bad guys never die.
Whether you shoot him, stab him, or drop a bomb on his head, the serial killer is always going to re-emerge from the rubble with an angry look in his eye. The old cliché stands true for life post-graduation, too. The teenage bullies grow up to be seriously disgruntled adult bullies. The good news – you’ll have a decade to plot your wicked come-backs and the chances of being shoved in a locker diminishes significantly.
We’ve all had horrifying high school experiences, many of which took place at the prom just like it did for our protagonist Carrie. So pull out your yearbooks, Facebook stalk the jerk who gave you a swirley (he’s now divorced and bald – score!), and watch the original Carrie, now playing on EPIX and EPIX.com. Who knows, maybe you’ll be able to harness the hatred into power and develop telekinesis!