For some picnickers, Pet Sematary will be an obvious choice of destination. In particular, anyone whose primary purpose for the trip is to resurrect an evil, zombie version of a deceased loved one will be immediately drawn to this locale. If you’re in the other group of readers, for whom zombie resurrections and picnicking among animal corpses are not go-to daytrip plans, we invite you to hear us out on this recommendation.
As you’ll learn from watching, Pet Sematary is a great place to spend some time if:
- you’ve recently moved from the city to the country and you’re eager to indulge in some light, backwoods necromancy;
- you’re the head of a young family who must learn the hard way to accept the finality of death; or,
- you’re pretty much down for whatever.
Convinced? You can find Pet Sematary and Pet Sematary II (1992) on EPIX throughout July. What’s more, we put together a guide — based on the films — to help you plan the best picnicking experience, in advance.
Before you head out, take some time to learn about local customs by chatting with area residents. They can give important, cultural context for the death and burial rites you’re about to witness. Who knows? You may even make a friend! If so, keep him along for the ride — no matter how unenthusiastic he seems. Trust us: you’ll welcome that extra set of hands when it comes time to start digging.
Once you’ve wrangled a buddy, you’re almost ready to go. Simply gather your family and make sure you’ve packed these five, crucial items:
1. Ouija Board
Keep in mind, this meal is all about networking — with the dead, that is. Bring a Ouija board to assist with translation. Also, this item doubles as a placemat!
2. Cat Shampoo
No need to beat around the bush here: undead cats smell even worse than live ones do. Note that small children can be especially sensitive to feline odors — pack cat shampoo to avoid spoiling the little ones’ appetites.
3. Lots of Raw Meat
In terms of cuisine, take a cue from Dr. Louis Creed (Dale Midkiff) and focus on pleasing guests, including picnic crashers, with lots of raw meat. But, don’t forget to lace it with tranquilizers… what’s a good steak dinner without a strong digestif?
Speaking of tranquilizers, these come 100% approved for human consumption too, according to Dr. Creed. Picnics with the undead can be stressful!
5. Exit Strategy
A picnic, like any party, must end eventually. Your guests don’t have to go home, but they can’t stay here.