Prepare to Get Sunday Schooled

Before “Teen Mom” (known by cultural historians as “B.T.M.”), back when Mandy Moore was a virgin and Macaulay Culkin was cute, before Jena Malone was known as being a certified badass in The Capitol and Mary-Louise Parker became a Pusher Man, there was Saved! – a cult favorite film that asked “Are you down with G-O-D?”

Goody-two-shoes Mandy is so down with Him, but there are some major wrenches thrown into her salvation plan when members of her clique start dealing with divorce, homosexuality, bullying and – oh yeah – teen pregnancy. Jena plays Mary, the lucky one of the bunch dealing with seemingly Immaculate Conception… sound familiar?

Be sure to look out for Heather Matarazzo and Eva Amurri who play awkward and bitchy high school girls so well that just watching them sent me into a you-can’t-sit-with-us-PTSD spiral. But the most notable cameo of all goes to a giant cutout Jesus who stands tall on a pile of books and bibles because the separation of Church and State is totally overrated.

The movie is packed with religious satire and is sure to crack up even the most devout Jesus fanatic because, well, if you can get through the purgatory that is High School you can find humor in anything.

So nuke some pious popcorn, turn that water into wine, and blast some Hozier – it’s time to take everyone to church. Watch Saved! (also available in Spanish!), now playing on EPIX and