#WCW: Roseanne in She-Devil

Every woman who has been cheated on has dreamt up an elaborate plan to get back at the partner who did them wrong. Though the majority of sane women will not carry out these plans, Roseanne Barr’s character, Ruth, in the hilarious movie She-Devil is not in the majority. Ruth tries desperately to be the perfect wife to her husband Bob, but Bob meets Mary Fisher (Meryl Streep) a romance novelist and quickly falls head over heels. Bob leaves Ruth for Mary, and as he’s packing his suitcase, he says his assets are his home, his family, his career, and his freedom. Cleverly, Ruth takes note and swears to destroy the things Bob loves one by one. Read on to find out how Roseanne’s unforgettable character became the most badass scorned lover of all time.

Ruth literally blows the family house up. There goes the first of “Bob’s Assets.”

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After destroying the house, Ruth decides that the children will have to go live with Bob and Mary and she will not be returning. Ruth is still working behind the scenes to ruin asset number two, Bob’s family. All is going according to Ruth’s plan when Mary, true to form, refuses to learn anything about being a mother. Farewell, asset number two.

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Soon enough, Ruth begins work at the nursing home where Mary’s estranged mother is living—what a coincidence! Ruth befriends Mary’s mother and arranges for her to return to living with Mary as well, further sending Mary into a meltdown.

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Ruth not only befriends Mary’s mother but Nurse Hooper, a woman who has been with the nursing home for over two decades. The two women decide to begin an employment agency to help women down on their luck. In walks a beautiful blonde who Ruth immediately realizes she can use as a pawn in her plan to destroy Bob and Mary. Ruth places the beautiful blonde in Bob’s company as an assistant and sure enough, she and Bob begin a romantic relationship. When the beautiful blonde begins to fall for Bob, Bob casts her aside and she runs back to Ruth spilling the beans that Bob has been committing fraud. Ruth exposes Bob destroying Bob’s career completely.

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Dealing with children and her mother, Mary is slowly beginning to (for lack of a better term) lose her goddamn mind. During an interview, her mother begins to reveal embarrassing secrets about Mary that are then printed in an article. Bob throws Mary a party to try and get her spirits back up and all is well until the cops show up and take Bob away in cuffs. Mary finds out later on in court that Bob has been stealing from her and leaves him. Bob is convicted of embezzlement and thrown in prison. Bye, bye, asset number four – freedom!

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Now, while we don’t condone doing any of this to an ex, we gotta say DAMN RUTH, YOU GOT BALLS.

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